GAH. That pretty much sums out how I've been feeling lately. Shanghai is pretty cool and all but, I guess, there's a limit to what I can take. I hoped for a new life without complications, to start afresh but lucky me. Everything seems the same, like back in Singapore. Drama seems to trail me... honestly. I'm suppose to be cmpletely my Community Service evaluation thing but I really cannot be stuffed anymore. I've had two days off sick, and it's now 1:23am.. I'm not in the mood for homework. Who would? The fact that my sister has to be a ***** to me and my dad probably thinks im some irresponsible daughter who cannot handle anything, does not make things better. I've got a Chinese essay and lots of History work due in tomorrow morning because I missed school. Its times like these when I just want to drop out of school, and enjoy life. Dancing and singing; having a job; actually allowed to perform in shows; or even just working out at the gym. Wouldn't it be nice to sit out in front of a gorgeous scenery in Perth with someone I trust, painting or sketching. That is what i want to do... not stuck in a polluted city growing fatter and more unwanted by the milli-seconds, hoping someone would soon start reading imbetween the damn lines! I know I sound completely bitter and down in the dumps but life here has its small perks. I've learnt how to ride a bike (finally almost a year ago!) and I'm learning how to play the guitar after all those years of wanting to! I have met pretty awesome people like Julia Denkhaus(moo) and Daniel Teo(dan dan) and PURVI (aka my soulmate). I swear, I would be dead without these guys... especially julia. She's my smelly cow, my pride and joy! haha. She's also probably going to kill me in school after reading these sappy lines written about her! haha. Isn't that a comforting thought? I'm talking to melissa now... I haven't talked to her in a really long time. I miss talking to her, I almost forgot how easy she is to talk to. Come to think of it.. I've known that girl for almost 7 years! Woah... I didn't realise it. I met her though the school musical? "School Daze" it was a pretty weird school production. It was the first and last time I ever got anything remotely near the main part in a production. haha. Things need to change, I need a big change in the way I look, the way I talk, the way I do everything. Things are simply not good enough. I need to grow up and see the truth. Life hates me and fate is not on my side.. I need to accept the cold truth and move on with whatever is left.. School work is calling me and I have to go as it is now 2:00am. I hope this entry makes up for my absence. Cheer! Maybe dan is right.. maybe I am too hard on myself. P.S: I'll try to update soon! =) |